Friday, September 12, 2014

The Apple Smartwatch Is Here, and It Might Be Awesome

We've been waiting for this damn thing for a while now. At least 3 years by my calculations. Now it's finally here. And it looks pretty freaking cool: The Apple Watch Smartwatch.

Check it out:

It's not the coolest looking thing in the world but the built-in functionality is incredible. This could easily be the product that finally makes smartwatches popular in the mainstream.

Check out the launch party:

Everything you need to know here

What do you think? Is this the coolest smartwatch and/or gadget of 2014?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Comcast Will Treat You Better If You Record Your Customer Service Calls

Comcast is already one of the most hated companies in the US. But it's getting more and more obvious that they just don't care.

In fact, lately it seems as if they are on a mission to be viewed as one of the evilest, most vile entities in the history of our country. (Good news for Exxon-MobilMonsanto, and the KKK!) They are just doing everything possible to make their current customers despise them and potential future customers do whatever it takes to find a good alternative.

Here's a great example why people are leaving Comcast and/or cutting the cord in droves...


via: Comcast Tells Customer The Only Reason He’s Getting Bogus Charges Refunded Is Because He Recorded Call

Friday, June 13, 2014

World Cup Goal Noise: US vs Brazil

This is how Brazil sounds when their national team scores a goal in the World Cup:

This is how the US sounds:

It would be funny if it wasn't also so sad.

With this type of "support," it's actually amazing that our national team is consistently ranked in the Top 20 in the world!!

7 Reasons Why Elly Kho Needs Her Own Reality TV Show

A few days ago a friend from Atlanta told me to check out a new E! reality series called Escape Club. She said an acquaintance of hers is was on the show and that I should watch it for the lolz.

So I did.

The acquaintance is Elnaz Khojastehzad, but on the show she goes by Elly Kho. Elly's a pharmaceutical sales rep and, weirdly, a hair stylist as well. She lives in the ATL, is engaged, and apparently does pretty well for herself financially.

Escape Club is, for the most part, boring as shit and has no chance of lasting for more than a season. The only interesting part of the show is Ms. Khojastehzad. From the minute she starts talking she lets everyone know that she's well-off, successful, accustomed to eating steak and lobster multiple times per week, and not to be fucked with.

On a show that's supposedly about struggling 20-somethings it's hilarious to see this bourgie 30-something Iranian cougar walking around in a $1200 skintight dress... and making sure everyone knows it cost "twelve hundred dollars!!"...

Elly comes off as such a caricature of the vulgar, ultra-materialistic, Persian princess that I was sure it was just an act to make herself more interesting. After all, every reality series needs an 'evil witch' or two to keep up the viewership. But my friend assures me that she really is 100% like that in real life.

Which is awesome.... for a reality show at least.

Of course Elly gets kicked off Escape Club in the first episode, sealing its fate. But that's actually a good thing. Ms."Kho" needs to have her own show... and soon. It will be a hit, guaranteed!

Here are 7 reasons why...

1. She is hilarious. I don't think she means to be, but nearly every time she says something it's freaking hilarious.

2. She's pretty hot. Face is probably a 5/10 but the body is easily an 8/10. This chick spends a lot of time in the gym.

3. Natural boobs. Nothing sells tickets like semi-big, natural boobies.

4. She has hundreds of thousands of dollars. HUNDREDS!!! Hell, she could probably finance production of the pilot episode on her own.

5. She's a world traveler with good leadership skills. The show could just be her traveling around to exotic places with a bunch of broke-ass losers, belittling them for their cheap clothes and leading them like the alpha-female that she is.

6. She could kill you. Something about Elly makes me think it would take very, very little for her to kill another human being. Not saying the producers should let her kill anyone on the show... that would probably cause some legal issues... but at least let her viciously attack a few assholes every episode!

7. She can see other women's uteri. I'm not kidding, and if you don't believe me make sure you watch a re-run of the 1st episode of Escape Club. Or just watch this clip. She seems to have some sort of extrasensory x-ray vision that only works on other females' reproductive parts... making her very interesting indeed.

Bonus Reason: Elly Kho can smash the shit out of some lobster... and who doesn't love watching a busty cougar smash lobster all over the table like a damn nutcase??

Bottom Line: This woman needs a reality show... and we're gonna help make it happen!

More to come...